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| 08:45pm 07/12/2004 |
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right. so my new journal is
the_karmapolice |
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| Love My Way |
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| 05:19pm 04/12/2004 |
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mood:  sick music: the psychedelic furs
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TODAY
my basketball team won our first game.
i called someone a "stupid fucking whore."
i had 37 messages left on the away... anna.
my ear-hole has become slightly infected.
my brother scratched "the best of bob" cd.
i havent showered.
i woke up at 9 and stayed in bed until 12.
i ate my first rotten apple. |
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| Autumns sweet, We call it fall. |
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| 10:56pm 02/12/2004 |
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mood:  bored music: chili peppers
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today i had basketball game.
as we were royally raped in the ass i found solitude when submerged in my men's XL jersey and shorts
YES, thank you coach for assigning me the largest jersey on the fucking team!
also coach, thank you for not starting me and not making me the team captain, seeing as i am the oldest, most dominate returning player to this joke of a team (and, THANK YOU DAD!!)
so then after we got a paper bag full of APPLES!
oh thank jesus for carondelet, the christian basketball team with an abundance of organic fruit for the teams they demolish.
-booooo!
at least its not as bad as that cuntlicking nigg trina, who, instead of speaking made grunting noises and gave me indian burns.
LLL bitches.
argh, i miss everyone from last year.
i just watched the graduate. i fucking love that movie.
one time i met dustin hoffman.
yeah, true story, can u believe that?
stinson 05, oh i think yes.
i was gonna put on one of those "if i were a ___, id be:" things but i realized they were really shitty and changed my mind
and wrote the above blurb of crap.
yez later d00dz |
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| new speakers |
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| 11:41pm 26/11/2004 |
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mood:  frustrated music: radiohead
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when do i get to get away?
when do i get to leave everything i hate
and all the people who hate me?
when can i learn all the shit i should have learned by now
from past mistakes, from ancient fiascoes,
from failures, from my disappointments,
from my lack of character, from forgotten goals,
from procrastination, from insensitivity
and from regret.
when do i get to wipe away all of my mistakes
and start over
using all these things i should have learned
i feel like ive completely fucked up in every way of my life
and i cant better anything because i cant clear my slate.
as i change, everything i regret still remains.
i need to get away. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| for a minute there, i lost myself |
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| 12:43am 19/11/2004 |
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mood:  blah music: radiohead
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this is the morning of friday and im alone alone aloneeee again.
im listening to the same song on repeat.
i want to eat something but there is nothing be eaten and im trying the new diet where you dont eat
you see last time i did that
well, i never actually did that.
i miss kelsey and i also miss someone else but i cant put my finger on who it is at this moment.
thats very sad.
for a minute there, i lost myself.
this is the worst entry ever, and i can do this because its my livejournal dont u see?
the main reason i wanted make this post was because well
* i cant sleep
*i really just like this song thats on repeat i thought you should know
*i drank too much diet coke again and cannot sleep
*i like to bite.
*duffy and i said the same thing at the same moment
well actually i said if first but his came a second later.
im gonna let it slide and call it the same moment.
i love that. its such psychic bondage. yes.
especially saying something as obscurer as "a square is a rectangle"
ssuckk my kkiss: a square is a rectangle
SumKindaMonster5: squares are rectangles
ssuckk my kkiss: but rectangle is not a sqare
for a minute there, i lost myself.
dammit i have this feeling im going to try to go to bed and im going to fail miserably.
its almost as bad as the actual feeling of trying to go to bed and then failing, miserably that is.
oh yes, it is my hair that i am missing. argh |
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Read 12 - Post |
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| i know i know i know |
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| 10:04pm 17/11/2004 |
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mood:  grateful music: bright eyes
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i love my dear friends.
old prints, meet your new friend.
yes, that is in fact a gnome-ish birthday hat and photos of me and kelsey
with ross thrown in the mix
thank you, best present ever.
also... :)
anna
There is hope for us
There is distance between you and I
We have just enough
And it comes as no surprise
I was in between
You were matches and kerosene
Is you conscience clear
Can you get it clean
Did you celebrate without me
Did you tell them all about me
Did you sell me out
If you ever had a doubt
KISS ME ON THE THE MOUTH!
Can you sing for me
Can you sing it out
Kiss me on the mouth
<3 thanks guys |
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| i need a phone call. |
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| 10:08pm 14/11/2004 |
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mood:  thoughtful music: counting crows
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this four day weekend was pretty okay.
nothing really special, but saturday made up for any shittiness,
TOFU FEST!
so lets see... my birthday is soon, that will be grand, besides the fact that i am getting my license in march.
because i am lazy.
but its cool, cause gab offered to drive me anywhere i want now that he has his license
<3 <3 <3
also, i came to the realization that i have absolutely NO CONCEPT of how i am perceived. like whatsoever.
its very frustrating, i feel like a total hypocrite in a lot of ways.
disliking someone for being less than what i wish they were, but who is to say im an exception to these standards?
im so unfair. i need to change this.
i also realized that if i could have anything
right now, at this moment
it would just be someone who if i picked up my phone at 2 am and asked them to come over
they'd be there. no questions asked, no excuses.
i dunno, maybe ill wish for that next tuesday.
today i was driving in with my brother in silence when he says
"cami, remember that time we went camping and i fell in the tide pools and got all my clothes soaking wet?"
i say, "yeah, haha i do."
"and i the only clothes i could wear were your underwear and over-alls."
"yeah"
"that fucking sucked."
i love my brother.
cami.
And I get no answers
And I don't get no change
It's raining in Baltimore, baby
But everything else is the same
I need a phone call
I need a rain coat |
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| 11:05am 12/11/2004 |
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mood:  sore music: the song that reminds me of you.
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hello
today is friday. i woke up thinking it was sunday. i love that feeling.
my body is fucking destroyed from basketball. i cant fucking walk and my tighs must have grown 5 inches.
YES, 5 inches.. bitches. more tryouts. i dont want to play, but.. my dad is making me.
last night was fun. bball then other wonderful things.
i think that duffy has this mysterious black hole in his car that makes him lose everything. or maybe its just anne, bringing bad luck upon everyone.
also, if you ever have the chance to experience the fudge alley bathroom i say take it. (im not a fucking rheem rat like someeee people i know. so its new to me, alright?)
so yeah. when i came home it was the first time in a long time i was just really happy. and without reason
great feeling, if i do say so myself.
but right now i just feel pretty angry.
my mom says i should take public speaking to ... learn how to deal with my anger (?)
if you can imagine comments like these just make me angrier.
actually i took one of those personality tests.
Antisocial Personality Disorder - individual shows a pervasive disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others.
Borderline Personality Disorder - individual shows a generalized pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable emotions, and significant impulsiveness.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder - individual has a grandiose view of themselves, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in various situations. These individuals are very demanding in their relationships.
Avoidant Personality Disorder - individual is socially inhibited, feels inadequate, and is oversensitive to criticism
god, i fucking hate me. |
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| boys should be Cowboy Chic |
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| 11:56pm 10/11/2004 |
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mood: happy music: theHIVES
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aw2kute4words: except boys can be fantastic
aw2kute4words: which makes it so much harder
aw2kute4words: LIKE THIER SMELL
aw2kute4words: ah i would be freinds with a guy just for his smell
ssuckk my kkiss: like that poster
ssuckk my kkiss: its better than any REAL boy simply because it smells so delicious
aw2kute4words: i love that poster though, its soo good. it just makes me happy
UNTAMED....
me too. |
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| CITY OF HOPE |
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| 09:19pm 08/11/2004 |
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mood:  numb
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note to self:
stop fucking up.
masjnkejwnwaosk;jlkjdflksajdf;llopo! |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| hot hot heat |
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| 07:22pm 07/11/2004 |
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mood: peachy music: the deftones
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o_0
helloooo.
well it is sunday night now.
i had a pretty nice weekend i must say.
friday was most excellent, duff stopped by and we celebrated the last night of my grounding.
uh yeah. friday night my parents said im a really good kid and i have proven to them in the past (?) that i am responsible and that i deserve a second chance.
that is the most awesome thing ever. i mean, im DEFINITELY not complaining, but if anyone should not be trusted and should be grounded it might as well be me. but... hell yes to being ungrounded!
saturday was tight, i fed homeless kids instead of xc. ya'll should be glad about that, i wouldve destroyed everyone on the fucking course. no fucking joke, im a power house.
then i went to kaylas grand celebration in a limo and black dress and heels. during this evening i proceeded to make a ridiculous ass of myself. typical. well sorry if i harased you. i wasnt aware until i was informed me of my behavior the next morning. yeahhhh uhhhhh hmmm. my bad
anyway pics taken from krista
birthday girl
classiest.
fun
sorry, im too lazy to resize
well i was going to write something important but i decided not to. |
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| no time for losers! |
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| 08:52pm 04/11/2004 |
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mood:  confused music: Queen
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oh get me away from here, im dying!
(for anna)
oh
what .
the.
fuck.
i hope im just being a stupid sloot.
because i CANT fall for you....
because i suck at living and nothing good could come of anything if i had feelings for you.
because youre just too fucking awesome and i dont wanna fuck up.
omgomgomgo nooooooooooo
today i ate chevys it was delicious.
i talked to my mom on a personal basis, that was really fucking odd.... but kinda nice.
EW.. yes i said nice...
i think things are better at home? maybe for today.
maybe maybe maybe something is changing!
i could kill you sure,
but i could only make you cry with these words. |
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| another day |
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| 06:05pm 02/11/2004 |
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stolen from ross/galean/anne
POST A MEMORY OF ME
It can be anything you want.
Then post this in your journal.
See what people remember about you.
lyrics for YOU.
"I know some kids still have their hearts in the right place.
And you can bet that there's still
an X on the back of this fist" |
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Read 14 - Post |
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| day 3 |
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| 04:39pm 01/11/2004 |
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mood: annoyed music: the smiths - i am human
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okay today is monday
i skipped xc again because running is a rediculous thing to be doing at any time.
katie came over, i love my fatty girl.
she always knows what to say.
blue flowers with glossy finish?
well beside the fact that today sucked mas balls than usual,
it ended up blowing a little more because anne wasnt there to sulk with.
i think good ol lamberti had more orange juice than usual.
i won at ching chong poe swee. that was really a highlight.
NotWorthTheScar: you got a nice bum and a great personality
he cannot be topped. |
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| day 2 |
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| 06:35pm 31/10/2004 |
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mood: amused music: love cats
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so its halloween
i had to clean my room in order to earn the privlage of walking to the store to buy candy.
which i ate. all of it, except for like 3 pieces.
if i were to go out tonight i think i would be a love cat
Into the sea
You and me
All these years and no one heard
I'll show you in spring
It's a treacherous thing
We missed you hissed the lovecats
^ and that is why...
my mom attacked me today.
shes 5'2", she had no idea what she was asking for. i layed the smack down. plain and simple.
and you know what, my parents cant punish me.
what are they going to do?
ill tell you what... take my stereo.
well that just sucks because i have a sweet boom box and it does just fine.
so fuck you.
now... im off to celebrate with my brother on the hill.
HAH HAH HAH love cats?
sorry, i am bored. |
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| day 1 |
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| 11:04pm 30/10/2004 |
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mood:  cold music: melt with you - modern english
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i have a lot of time to watch movies and think now that im on probation from the rest of the world
so as i was thinking
i decided im unsure whether to cut my hair again or grow it out
what do u think:
short or long?
and also.
timmy vu: this is jeremy's cell phone number. give him LOADS of calls!
765-5870
cami |
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| gummy bears |
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| 01:36pm 30/10/2004 |
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mood:  disappointed music: cake
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hello all
so its 10/30 i have about 9 weeks until i can go out again (give or take)
just wanted to thank duff ross and anne for everything
last night was awesome times even tho it went horribly wrong
also, thanks andy and rachael.
hmmm i think im going to watch alice in wonderland tonight... anne says its remarkable.
the sky is ENORMOUS. |
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| 11:53pm 09/08/2004 |
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mood:  crushed
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KATIE:
The last time I-
Laughed: an hour ago
Cried:today
Talked on the phone: before dinner time
Slept over with a friend 3 nights ago
Slept over with more than a friend:1-2 weeks ago
Was late for curfew: last night
Cussed: today
â€| At your parents:
Got in a fight: ????a lot ???
Hit someone: yesterday
Got hit by someone: ????
Drank alcohol:2 nights ago
Smoked weed: 5 days ago
Smoked something else:,,,,,,,.............
Took drugs (other than weed/alc):...........adderol.....not since school
Kissed someone: 15 mins ago
â€|Opposite of your preference:
Did more than kiss :-0:
Had sex:no
Wanted to die:YESS 2 days ago
Felt alone:yess but cant remeber
Felt loved: today :)
Felt like running away: few months ago
Felt like kissing your parents: ha fuck no never
Felt like kissing someone:yess every day
Felt like kissing a friend:umm maybe ? not sure
Liked someone:yess everyday
Loved someone:yess everyday minus once every blue moon
Was heartbroken: umm cant say but i would say yes
Was dumped: 10 months ago or maybe 1? not sure
Dumped someone: 3 months ago
Knew someone liked me: heh today
Wished someone liked me: everyday of my life
Had a secret crush: everyday...
Told someone you liked him or her: today/this morning/this afternoon/tonight
Had a sex dream: last night
Made a new friend: last week
Lost an old friend: beginning of freshman year
Hated yourself: umm past 2 days
Loved yourself: ummm????????cant say
CAMI:
The last time I-
Laughed: today at work
Cried: today in my room
Talked on the phone: today to katie
Slept over with a friend: last night with kayla
Slept over with more than a friend: sheeiittt does Tom count? babyyyy
Was late for curfew: NEver
Cussed: hella badass…
… At your parents: today.. L
Got in a fight: uh with non-parentals.. last week
Hit someone: a few weeks ago I beat up galler
Got hit by someone: .. and he hit me
Drank alcohol: its summer…
Smoked weed: ummm I honestly cant remember ha probably a week ago
Smoked something else: I smoked a cigarette with Gust during my break at work.. I’m going to hell.
Took drugs (other than weed/alc): heck no
Kissed someone: 2 nights ago
…Opposite of your preference: ?
Did more than kiss :-0: ummm… ha
Had sex: chut up! never
Wanted to die: whenever I breath mehhh emo emo emo
Felt alone: today
Felt loved: I cant remember, sad.
Felt like running away: when mclane left
Felt like kissing your parents: always!!! <3!!!
Felt like kissing someone: other than parents.. always…
Felt like kissing a friend: a friend that is a boy? I guess im guilty
Liked someone: currently I might..
Loved someone: if pain is love, I loved someone last year
Was heartbroken: I’m always heartbroken…
Was dumped: I’m never in a relationship
Dumped someone: I dumped hella newbz back in jr high. Does that count?
Knew someone liked me: this past spring
Wished someone liked me: who doesn’t?
Had a secret crush: right now
Told someone you liked him or her: September..
Had a sex dream: sheeittt I dunno
Made a new friend: yesterday I made friends with a soccer boy and ben the cutie
Lost an old friend: this summer hmmmm
Hated yourself: I suck at life. Always.
Loved yourself: I like myself sometimes does that mean anything?
TESS:
The last time I-
Laughed: 50 min ago
Cried: 3 days ago
Talked on the phone: a minute ago. YAY COLIN.
Slept over with a friend now <3kristen<3
Slept over with more than a friend: nopers
Was late for curfew: tonight?
Cussed: NEVER EVER
… At your parents: hmmm
Got in a fight: too depressing to talk about
Hit someone: karl…
Got hit by someone: slapped
Drank alcohol: ?
Smoked weed: ?
Smoked something else: ?
Took drugs (other than weed/alc): ?
Kissed someone: a month ago?
…Opposite of your preference: say what?
Did more than kiss :-0: naughty naughty
Had sex: ?
Wanted to die: December 2003
Felt alone: yesterday
Felt loved: cant remember
Felt like running away: in third grade
Felt like kissing your parents: my daddy came back from finland today
Felt like kissing someone: RIGHT NOW BABY
Felt like kissing a friend: ……..
Liked someone: a month ago?
Loved someone: last summer
Was heartbroken: ouchiez
Was dumped: never dated anyone
Dumped someone: never dated anyone
Knew someone liked me: RIGHT NOW
Wished someone liked me: RIGHT NOW, when do I not?
Had a secret crush: always, I love being secretive.
Told someone you liked him or her: cant remember
Had a sex dream: ?
Made a new friend: JOSE
Lost an old friend: 2 years ago
Hated yourself: December 2003
Loved yourself: August 10, 2004 |
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